Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Is It Too Close?????

Ok, so every morning I wait for the bus in front of my house to take me to work. And every morning I have a conversation with this guy. Now the man is decent looking, I wouldn't say all around fine. All around fine to me is when I saw Bruce Leroy from the movie The Last Dragon walking down the street in NYC by my job. When I saw Bruce Leroy my face was damn near on the floor! You had to get glue to put my face back together. Now I've seen good looking celebs before but you have to understand.... I loved him since I was 4 years old, I followed his but as far as I could and I know he was wondering if I was psycho because I kept staring, He had THE GLOW THOUGH, LMAOOOO!

But Bruce Leroy is the captain of the Ting Tang Team... Or so I've heard so that's out.

Anyhooo, back to ol' boy from the bus stop. To make a long story short, he asked me if I would accompany him to a comedy show at Caroline's in the city. I agreed, but in my mind I kept thinking damn... he lives in my building (oh yeah, forgot to tell you that part)

Is this to close for comfort? 

Monday, June 1, 2009

Stepping Out of My Box.....

If someone says "oh in order for you to find someone, you need to step outside your box". Don't ever listen to that ish! Stay right in your box.  You like what you like for a reason.

The day I stepped out of my box was with a guy I will just call "Bear Hands". He was my height (I'm 5'2), fluffy (fat, plump, round, more to love...whatever you want to call it) and much older. He was everything I DIDN'T want, looks wise, but I said "self, you need to look beyond the exterior and look inside the person's heart".  The thing that I did like about him was that he was a successful attorney and had an apartment in midtown (very convenient) Ok I know that's not what's in his heart but that's the stuff I like, especially if you can't make it happen for me in the looks department *blank stare*. Anyway.....

We dined at the Blue Water Grill in NYC, I had the Big Eye Tuna and he had some other crap. All was going well until he reached over the table to grab my hand, that's when I saw it..... The crawling hair coming out of his crisp button down sleeve shirt! Even at that point I decided to stay calm, "self, look beyond the exterior...". 

When the night was done, we parted ways. At the time I was living in Jersey City; while siting on the path train the only thing I could think of was.... I wonder if he has crawling hair on his chest like Tony Montana.

But....The Ish done hit the fan, I need to tell you what this fool had the audacity to do.... More to come.

Am I wrong? let me know... Comment. 

I Have Some Gripes...Mmmmm Hmmmm I Do.

So I have some gripes... Oh so you want to know what my gripes are do you? There are some things in life that people should change.

1.  I can't stand the super skinny, butt hugging, female pants on men. To top it off, the try to sag the jawns???? WTH???? Can someone please tell me why this style is in fashion? I am a grown woman and I don't think think style is attractive. I would love to hear the rebuttal to this fad.

2. Old Men, old men, old men... *SMH* Why oh why do you insist on wearing braids? If you have a damn bald spot in the middle of your head...WTF ARE YOU DOING WEARING BRAIDS????? CUT IT OFF!

3. Men and women, Do Not carry crumpled up money. Period.

4. Do not tuck basketball jerseys in your pants. As a matter of fact, unless you are playing basketball or you are at a game routing for your favorite team, DO NOT wear a basketball jersey at all.

5. DL Brothers please stop the madness. Sisters are suffering because of your antics, a lot of DL brothers say "well I don't consider myself gay because I think of it more as a control thing".....MOFO YOU ARE A HOMO. IF HOMOSEXUALITY IS YOUR PREFERENCE THEN DO YOU, BUT DON'T FAKE THE FUNK. 

6. Married men, stop trying to holler at single women.

7. Women, wear the size that fits you. If you have to go up a size, that's ok. It will look much better in the long run. It beats butt crack, stretch marks, camel toe and then some.

8.Women, please stop with the knock offs! for the love of Hay Zeus, lol! STOP THE MADNESS!

I have more gripes but I'm not going to give them all right now, lol, maybe I should change the name of this blog to "Disgruntled Little Woman, lol. Anyway I need my beauty rest, goodnight.

So I Made One...

OK everyone, I finally satisfied the public's need by creating this blog. On this blog I will post things that concern me....The Urban Fashionista. Also I will be posting things that don't concern me, why? Because I want to put my 2 cents in and this is my blog so I do what I want, hahahahaha!